:D

Della 1: Sooo.. how is it, Del?

Della 2: :D

Della 1: What's with that grin?

Della 2: Nothing. Just amazed how reserved yet vibrant I can be, at the same time

Della 1: Hm?

Della 2: You know, that "I'm proud with myself" feeling when you finally can talk with steady tone in chronological order, and though there are some intense emotions in your stories, you still can keep it going on track

Della 1: Sounds like everything went well. Good for you

Della 2: Good for us. Well, we'll see :D :D :D

Della 1: What's with that too many grins?

Della 2: I just........ feel glad I'm not that type of person who can easily give up. At that time, the assessor said something like "approach we're doing is exploring the past behavior to predict the future" and by telling my own experiences, I realized how determined I was when pursuing thing I really wanted. I only stopped when I had to. After all, it was not about getting it but about the journey of getting it. So if it can help predicting my future, then I guess there's nothing to worry about

Della 1: There IS one thing

Della 2: What?

Della 1: To decide what you really want. I know there are so many things you wanna do, but to decide which one you're focusing on? This is the thing or not?

Della 2: HAHA. Exactly what dad always ask. I'm sure we can find out during the seeking process. Worry that later

Della 1: That's what I'm most worried about actually

Della 2: :D

Della 1: And you can still grin after this and that -___-

Della 2: Funny, isn't it? We are the same person. We share the same fear, worry, anxiety, doubt, and other negativities. But we also share the same hope. And you know what makes people feel so alive? Glimpse of hopes. That's what I'm sharing with you. But thanks anyway for sharing your fears. I've made my decision

Della 1: Such a stubborn

Della 2: Dear, hear. I can feel your insecurity is getting more intense as we get older. You, we, worry more than we should be. But hey! Ain't we combat it everyday? And in fact, it's not that bad. Life is not that scary. It just happens

Della 1: Yeah but........

Della 2: Can I tell you something? At that time, when I was presenting myself, someone asked me "if you really like what you're doing now, why you do this?" I was a bit surprised given that question. I replied "Because I'm ashamed. Of not doing things for the sake of others. All of my life, I was selfish. I still am. I pursue everything for myself. So now is the time to pursue things for those needed" And I put that :D again to end the 7 minutes session

Della 1: So?

Della 2: Well, I've been thinking a lot about this. All I can imagine is Della 30 years from now, regretting everything she didn't do in the past, including this. I just don't want it to happen. At least I must try my best. At least there is something I wanna do for others. That's it. Suddenly all the doubts and fears are gone

Della 1: They're still there. Here. With me

Della 2: Geez, why it's so hard to convince you?! Well, it's me also actually. Been doing this a whole time but still feel weird having a monologue conversation like this

Della 1: I just hate that feeling of disappointment. I know we can always recover ourself sooner or later. But still, I just hate failure, no matter if we're expecting it or not

Della 2: No one is expecting failure anyway -___- Well, if it's really happening, just move on. Gitu aja kok repot tho ndok

Della 1: Easier said than done

Della 2: Whatever. I just feel so sure about it, no regret, no doubt, and nothing to lose. We can always agree to disagree anyway

Della 1: Well, if there's something I have to be glad about, it's your slight of optimism. And yeah, you're right. At least we still have hopes

Della 2: That's my girl!

Della 1: :D

Credit: here

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