Posts

Pissed Off

 Dear parents, It's okay to have daughter in her 30s and still single. Maybe she wants to save money to buy house for herself and fur babies. Maybe she's busy with her career and doesn't have time for relationship. Maybe she's skeptical about marriage or simply hasn't met someone she wants to marry. Maybe she's been through tough times and needs a break to heal her soul. Whatever the reason, you don't have any right to judge. And never even think it's your fault. You might give a birth to her, but you're not responsible for her own choice. You've done your part. You feed her well, teach her well, and raise her well. It's more than enough to expect from parents. Dear grandparents, Stop pressuring your son and daughter to push their daughter to get married soon. That chain of endless pressure is so burdensome. Why can't you let your grandchild be at peace with her singleship status? She's totally chill until you ruin it with your annoyi

Sembunyi

Dulu, kalau perasaan lagi nggak nyaman begini, saya suka sembunyi di balik hal-hal yang berbau nonfiksi. Di sana, rasanya nggak ada yang tanya saya lagi kenapa. Adanya, sama-sama cari tau kenapa sesuatu bisa terjadi. Pengetahuan jadi tempat persembunyian paling aman. Kalau sekarang, saya cuma pengen nyamperin yang kasih perasaan nggak nyaman itu. Pengennya nggak perlu sembunyi. Pengennya nyamperin kamu, hal nonfiksi yang paling saya mau tau. Boleh nggak sih?

Isolasi

Balada per-Corona-an ini makin mengkhawatirkan. Mungkin seminggu ke depan akan isolasi diri. Kalau udah mulai mau gila, semoga menulis menjadi penyelamat dunia. Kita lihat aja.

Tulis Aja Dulu

HP gw LCD-nya eror, harus rawat inap di kang service sampai 4 hari ke depan. Karena nggak ada HP dan gw tetep pengen komitmen nulis, jadi yaudah. Di sini aja. Yang penting terus nulis. Sisi positifnya, nggak perlu pusing cari gambar. Nulis tinggal nulis. HORE!

Surely

D1: Del D2: Nyamperin gw kalau ada maunya aja dah D1: Hehe. Makasih ya selalu hadir :) D2: Kenapa? D1: Nggak jadi deh. Udah ilang moodnya D2: Oke. Tapi kalau tentang self-doubt, cuma mau bilang you've improved better. Wajar kok kadang kepleset D1: Thanks. Tapi keplesetnya teh jadi males gitu loh. Am I a sloth? D2: Pertanyaannya perlu diganti sih: how not to be a sloth? D1: Ner uga. Hmm.. D2: Apa lagi? D1: Am I in denial? D2: Kalo iya, terus kenapa? Mau ngapain? D1: Ya sih. Bukan tentang iya-nggak, tapi abis ini apa. Gitu kan? D2: Nanya sendiri, jawab sendiri. Paham sih yang tipis-tipis gini susah ngebedainnya. But you'll get used to it D1: You sure? D2: Are you? D1: Not really D2: But are you willing to try? D1: Sure! D2: Nah

"Maybe"

D1: Hi there! D2: Been long time, yes? How are you? D1: How are we? D2: What's bothering you? D1: How do we know that we are real us? D2: You just know. D1: What if what we think is us, is not us? D2: What doubts you? D1: I don't think I'm that good. Or content. Or kind to myself. To us. D2: Why? D1: It's just my anxiety. Promise something I'm afraid I can't deliver. As usual, putting a lot pressure and expectation to myself. I know it's useless, but I just can't help it. I guess, this is the real me. D2: Why is it bothering you so much when you're not real? D1: Good question. Maybe I just want to embrace this uncomfortable feeling without feeling guilty that I can't be like what I expect myself. Sorry, me. D2: Apology accepted. Anything else? D1: I'm also afraid I can't be consistent in pursuing what I decide for me. D2: Take your time. No rush. D1: We're running out of time. D2: At least we're not running from r

Kangen

Kangen nulis. Kangen ngobrol. Kangen ngobrol lewat tulisan. Kangen nulis apa yang diobrolin. Kangen kamu pokoknya. Tapi kamu yang dulu bukan kamu yang sekarang. Ya namanya juga hidup kan. Kadang tumbuh beriringan, kadang bercabang dan menjauh. Aku pikir, aku hanya butuh sedikit usaha cari waktu bertemu. Tapi semesta memang suka bercanda. Semakin keras usahaku, semakin jauh kamu. Biar begitu, namamu terus mengorbit di keseharianku. Kenapa sih dari semilyar nama di dunia, harus kamu? Mungkin memang pasaran, tapi pasarku kan harusnya bukan namamu. Rindu, obatnya bertemu, bukan? Apa jangan? Jangan. Kenapa? Biar semesta yang bekerja. Kalau memang saatnya, akan tepat waktunya. Semoga segera. Ralat. Semoga saat siap.